I'm not pretty but i like myself,,,,

I never really care before about beauty, pretty and all those girl things before... i don't til yesterday one of my friend knocked me with these things..

"wei, u are a woman, but u don't put make up, barely dress up... ur husband will turn his face in the next 5 years if u keep doing like that..."

not a harsh statement, yet it punched me down.. make me wonder.......

okay, let's say ...most girls put make up, do hair treatment, facial, manicure, pedicure regularly, what else.. aaah dress pretty most of time.. having super expensive bags (or addicted to branded bags)..LV..channel..prada...

well.. nothing is wrong with that.., but then why i don't have even one of those criteria... or maybe i am different,,,

i'm not hypocrite... i like being pretty, or i try to look pretty... and pretty beauty is "a must word" for every woman... of course i did some facial, hair treatment before, i put make up in special occasion..however, i can count it with my hands , meaning, i barely do it...plus i dont have expensive bags...lol..

the fact is, (and i'm sure people know it), i dress casual with sneakers.. i dont put make up (i just hv lipstick, lipgloss and blush on)..i dont have foundation,,, sounds so poor...my hair is straight, not colored anymore since Tony doesnt let me,, i am far far far away from those hot chicks....

then what? do i feel ashamed? naaah, not really... i know i am so plain... but looking at those girls in the street.. i realize i am not the only one.. the percentage is 70 percents for those hot chicks with hot appearance, but counting the other ordinary 30 percentages will make u feel better..

but hey again, i am not hypocrite.. i admire those pretty girls.. i always enjoy looking and investigating those pretty girls in the street. what are they wearing, their face and their appearance... i love them.. just, i cant be one of them..uups.. not because i can not.. but because i don't want.. money can buy those things to make ourselves prettier... i cant pictured my self wearing sweet gown, high heels, full of make up everyday, or Lv bags is hanging on my shoulder... the thing is i am awei...

maybe u will never agree with me, but u might agree with ur own experience where u try so hard to be as perfect or as pretty as u can just for making someone like u or be aware of u... i did too..in my past... as a young girl, who never wants to get attention from a group of guys... u even cant stop smiling if u know someone check you out.. that's true...

again, have u ever noticed that some girls try too hard to be someone's expectation instead of her own's.. she is not wrong, again i was too... every girl has their period of times being someone else... though my period had gone long long time a go...

everyone says, inner beauty is more important than outer one... i agree with it.. everyone agrees.. however, we all just can not get out from outer beauty.... ask ur guy friend, they will agree that they get into girl from their appearance.. so where is inner beauty role in this scenario... wait, inner beauty takes main role eventually...

no matter how pretty we are, without good heart and good manner, eventually all guys will kick u off... not only guy, let's say girl to girl conversation... hundred times u will hear someone saying.." she is pretty, hot, and so cute, but.... she is...blah blah..blah...bad words come from their mouth..." rather than that i like to hear someone saying, hey i know she is just average, but she is really kind, she is prettier day by days.....

which one will u prefer to be...??

i am not saying pretty and hot chicks always act bitchy, yet i know some which is really pretty and they are not as pretty as their face. life is not that perfect, it's rarely to have pretty face and pretty heart. hence, i have couple of friends who have those two.. inner and outer beauty. again, what i learnt from them is, their inner dominates outer, they have a good looking face, more than average, but their manner and behavior are wow.... by looking at them, u will admire them..

i always believe there is no, not even one UGLY girl in this world.. they all can be pretty as technology has improved much... i always believe the power of inner is greater than anything... of course i dont want just dressing with shirt fulled of hole, messy hair, bad breath or even yellow teeth... that's outlier from this scenario.. i am saying about average girl who is simple, ordinary, and natural who sometimes feel not confidence about themselves... i always believe we all pretty by what we do, talk, think and behave... as my friend quoted, beauty is relative, depends on whom thinking....

i have heaaaapsssss of pretty friends innerly... that makes me love them so much.. i dont really care about what bag are they wearing, what dress or even they just a nerdy one, i love them all... for me, they show me what they really are, not covered by any foundation, they just what they are and that makes them beautiful...

as myself, i never count myself as a pretty one... i always appreciate when my husband reckon i am the prettiest one for him, cos thats true. what makes u r pretty for those people whom u love and love u, is what u really are, ur inner, and definitely ur appearance contributes...

as long as u feel good with ur dressing style, no matter which style u like.. u are pretty...

in a way, i always consider myself as a natural one.. yes sometimes i can loose my confidence a lot, but when the one u love smile at u and say u always be the prettiest in their heart, u will know what i mean...

back to my friend statement,,, to sum up.. i replied well yes i know i am plain and too ordinary..but i am proud to being myself...

so people, proud of urself...u are pretty in my eyes....

my old dayssss,,,

time goes fast, day by days, month by months, year by years and here i am...

i'm 25..i live in sydney.. i finished my uni...i work... and i just got married legally (reception comes on december)...

i wonder why and how my life is never been happier,,, my life is perfect...

i was looking at some friends' facebook... and i memorize back,,,

my old times...my high school memories, my uni memories and my working memories back home,,, i have thousands sweet memories before,,,


the moment when we were in high school... my 1-1 class, my 2-4 class, and my 3-3 class...how i miss u guys...no burden, just fun and simple...
i remember lots of memories where we got scolded by teachers, when we skipped class and hide in medical room.. or when we cheated a lot during exams...i remember me, kuchay, cindy and dicky, we divided cheats by pages...eventually we always got the same mark in a year without got caught..aah no...dicky u got caught when u cheat cindy's exam..how i miss that moments... i remember 7-up gank...what a gank...me, ucha, kuchay, steph, ivone, tere and fannie pus..think we were cool, always grouping together and hang around in school...hahaahaaa...

so glad knowing heaps of my high school friends are getting success in their career.. glad to see syah, how great he is now with his photography.. back there we just sort of troublemaker at class..yet i knew from the beginning u will be success...

i miss some of my good friends who are overseas at the moment.. devi in KL, steph in Sf, and juli in Tw.. how are they doing now? though we still keep in touch, still wonder how are they up to?

some of my friends are married and having babies...still cant believe time flies and bring them to the real happiness life...having family and commit to them... i remember when we were in class, talking about our future,, about married life, and even wanmy made one promise to all,,,"on december 24, 2010 (which was 7 years after 2003) we will meet again, gather together at christmas eve, at ave maria church"... i am wondering will they do it this year...since i will not be in indo..^ ^

heaps of my friends having their own business, and i am so happy to know that.. my best friend maya, and some of my good friend, diana, yossy, felly.. i wish all the best for you guys,,

what i miss the most is my idear life...for almost 1.5 years i had been there.. i miss everything i had back there...and i miss deng laoshi who left this world this year.. how idear will never be the same without u...

it feels so good when i see some of my friends still catch up, aliss,wo2, ivon and the gank with cayong... diana n the gank, lenz and the gank..
how i miss old times... and i miss my gank even more..maya and the gank.. seven up.. cindy..idear gank....aai, anang and the gank(narsis gank)..and curtin and the gank... i look forward to meet u again guys...

i never been happier knowing my life is so perfect... my family is perfect.. my friends are good.. and my life is perfect.... i have the best husband and i have the best life... feel so grateful...

i live with old sweet memories and current sweet memories...and i will always have great moments everyday and til i die....love u all....

something random

whenever talk about death,, it has always been a sad story. definitely yes.,

some poeple are scared to die, and some people are not...
there's always questions such as, what will happen after death?is there any hell or heaven? will i be in hell? and blah blah blah

well for myself, honestly i always feel ready when the time is come, or even somehow i always feel i will leave this world earlier (God Forbid)...
then again i still want to do a lot of things...a lot a lot a lot things to do...i havent done anything to make my parents proud, i still want to travel around the world, i really want spend the rest of my days with my husband...i still want to have a baby, grow old with them, attend their wedding,,, and that,,,and this,,, and so on..... i don't want to leave this world so soon...

the question is we never know when the time is come.... we never know..

since i was young, i always know life is unpredictable..everything can happen in a day even in one hour..therefore, it become my life lesson..that i always do and live with the memory of life is short. i grow up with that believe, so i do it. i always do whatever i want, of course not in a negative way, i still don't go clubbing, drugs, smoke or even do such a teenage thing. i try to say thank u and sorry everytime i feel to... i always try think positive (of course i fail many times)...and live happily cos we never know what happened tomorrow...

i was reminded everytime i watch any "sci-fi" movies talking about disaster, the end of the world, etc....some people doesn't take any credit from it, while i do...i always believe one day it will happened to us... i might sound cliche and so pathetic.. but it makes me live gratefully and happily...

let's make it real, have u ever thought how many person u know well left u unexpectedly?

i've been in sydney just for 2 years 2 months, but some people i know well left me sooner than i thought.

i never think about being die, but the more i know the reality, the more upset i am... yes, i told u before i am not really scared to die, but the truth is i'm scared being left even more...

it was the second month in sydney, my Grandma left us...it was a bit shock for me, cos i think 2 weeks before that, i still talked with her in phone, yet clearly in my mind my promise to bring her here.. ans she left us... i can say i was close to her, i met her every 2-3 times in a week, and i love her... i love both of my grandma (my other grandma passed away 2 years before i came here), and i could not get any love from grandma,,

around March 2009, one of my uni friend had accident and she left us all.. she was 23, and young and bright, full of hopes for future, and nobody will ever know she would die so young. i remember a week before the accident happened, we were chatting on msn, and she mentioned how she wanted to go overseas for study english, asked me about australia's life and how was i going here? when i memorize back, we were close before in the first year at uni, even til i graduated we were still in the same class. just can't believe that day she passed away,,, life is short...

just last april, the person i reckon very kind, passed away. he is my work amte in kindergarten. he passed away because he was sick, in his 30s, he hasnt got married, he's vegetarian, active in buddhist society, he's been teaching kids for more than 6 years and he is really good person. then again i wonder, why good people passes away faster than the other.. again, life is unpredictable,,,

and the last news i got was one of my high school classmate passed away. again, i feel like i was knocked...he was 25, single, he was very calm and good friend in my memory.. but why that happened to him...

those are some of people i know well..they passed away in different way. what can i learn from this are

life is short, so why dont we live happily, live honestly,do good while u can, do whatever u like (but dont kill people, lol)...live and say what u wanna say...

simple isnt it? thats the theory, the fact is not all people can do it.. some people make this life more complicated by their mind....i am not suggesting u to do that, we have to control our mind, be happy and be grateful that we at least still get a time to do something....

i always remind my sis about this, over and over again,,that dont regret anything..have ur life fun, cos money is not everything..hahaha...

and for sure i will always live happily and do anything i can...

and i believe we all can do it...

be happy....