I came up with an idea just 4 hours before august comes..
Yes it is officialy still july.. And i want to write something, well maybe more about self learning for what have been happening along this month...
I love july a lot as i was born on july and my anniv is on july.. I love july the most among the months...
After all these years, i always think everything turns good on this month. Well i guess my mood affect my days and days always going smooth on july...
But Not for this year... Not july 2012, when i am 27..
Before hand, im not saying i experience lots of bad luck or unfortunate lately.. This story isnt just about me. Its about what happened and it kicked my head... Remind me that life is changing quickly...
Its been 6 months i have been working in office, something that i never imagine before seeing me stay longer than a month. In fact, i do.. And i amaze.. How good i am surviving in completely new world ( fyi, i never work in office )...
Never thought i would spend almost 9 hours 5 days a week sitting in front of papers, computer, numbers and surrounded by wall. Waking up early morning, catching up same train everyday, be there 20 mins earlier, solving the same things over and over again.. Talk for maybe less than 30 minutes of time and spend the rest of working time be silent and concentrate of what to do,,, ( dont count my break time pls, i speak like duck on my break time).. Got blame sometimes or even try to adapt to this western working style..
And amazingly again, i survive.. Hell yeah i do it..
I honestly do not think i could do all of those without my friends existence.
I make few good friends here, one of them is my primary school friend. How unbelievable life could bring us two sitting together as a team while 14 years ago we have been completely living in different continent..
Everyone of them has different characters hence it brings us together, monday to friday morning to evening as a team...
I never care how much money i have to earn or what position in workplace i have to reach, call me idealist cos i am...as long as i have good team mate and those friends to support each other, nothing else i could ask more...
And i had it a month ago, just in early of july...
Things change in weeks... And here we are, 31 july 2012
I have lost 2 good friends in our team and that made huge difference.. Worst it happened so sudden on my birthday.. I cant believe life is obviously unpredictable.. One day we still chat around, the other day they just left...
I am glad i still have two good friends now, and i hope nothing will take them away from there...
One of them ( my primary school friend )just lost her mum.. And it is a very sad moment for her. She is a very nice and kind hearted person.. She is also a cancer ( mine also ).. We joke around that this month seems hard and unfortunate for those people born in july, which is a bit true. Things are not going well for us... How i wanted to cheer them up..
My point is,
Still the same old speech what i always repeat again and again.. Life is completely huge things... People come and go.. It is unpredictable. It always Change,, not only their life, it is also my life..
I am not saying i am perfectly enjoying my life every day.. Though i always be grateful for what i have, sometimes i fail to do so. I several times blame life or make huge mistake, stupidly sweat about small thing but i try to minimize it from days to a day only.
I love myself but i love people surround me even more... I am afraid of losing people i love... And i know i could not run from the fact that one day they will leave me, physically now or forever... And i could not miss any seconds for them. I just want to make the most of it with people i love.
When i was younger, i remember i wasnt that scared of death. I know its funny but its true. What i scared more is if my mum leaves me... I mean you know... I had a dream one night i saw my parents passed away and i woke up crying.. That is what i called pain.
Why pain? I dont know something with physical pain never make me hurt that much. Loosing, mean words, unloved, and arguing are the true pain for me.
I am a big girl, but with a very soft and weak heart.
I am lucky enough that people i love still alive. I cherish that. Though not everyday i speak with my mum, but when i call her or skype with her i try to make her happy, let her know i am okay. Dont you worry about me. And show her how much i care and love her.
Call me corny, but i say i love you everyday to my husband cos i mean it and i want him to know that i truly love him. I do not want myself be too late to say it. I want to live with no regret.
I might be not a type of friend who can see or meet you oftenly. But i make the most whenever i catch up with them. I try to bring happiness, support, love and care for them.. And i do.. That is the only thing i could give as a friend, nothing else...
I am sorry i talk too much.. I just want to remind people and myself that never stop loving your loved one... Life is short sometimes, never regret your life.
For you, who know me well. U know i truly care and i will always cherish our good " destiny" ( hao ying yen) ....
Be happy, be grateful....
Until we meet again... :)
