what will u do if??

If one day, u own a supermarket or just a groceries shop and someone steal in ur shop, what will u do???
if that question goes to me, honestly i don't know what will i do...probably i will catch them and scolded them, eventually i will let them go after they promise not to do that anymore.. cliche?? i think so...

when me and Tony were shopping in Asian Grocery and we were about to finish, i heard people screamed and yelled in the same time.when i looked into the crowded, i saw the staff caught up someone stole in their shop..the theft was an old Chinese lady, around 50 years old i guess... she was saying sorry while the staff hold her body and scolded her badly and saying call the police to come in...she tried to get out from the back(as they took them to the back so won't distract the other customers) , yet i still can hear clearly what they were saying since i understand mandarin. the first thing passed on my mind was should i help that theft and help her to pay what she stole?? i feel like my heart was squeezed and all i can do was nothing..they kept screaming at the back, saying u are theft, u shouldn't steal anything, we call police and u deserved to be in jail, while the old lady kept begging to be released and apologizing and i can hear she was crying....i don't like to hear that, and i closed my ear when i had to get something at the back and rushing back to the counter.. i left the shop just in time when the police came...

still, i felt so so so so so terrible.. it is not my business, but why my heart is so weak...i kept hearing those conversation. it was like a broken radio in my head...she begged and cried...and i told Tony what i felt..he felt the same way too. that we both feel so sorry and feel so awful as we can't do anything...

back then, i was reminded the same scenario..i wasn't there but my bro told me about this. it was happened in the basketball court. someone stole a mobile phone i guess..it's ended up by caught the theft and bashed him up plus took him to police and they bashed him up again...what a story..when i heard that, for some reason again i felt so weak and coward. i felt so bad...my bro felt bad too as he did nothing (which is, i'm glad to hear that, he didn't bash or get involved with those guys). but when he said one of his friend said the theft deserved to get bashed, i was thinking like...hm...was it the normal answer that all thefts deserve to be bashed?? i know that STEALING is a WRONG and no excuses for any of it, it is a crime. however, indeed i always believe there will be a reason behind the crime.. and mostly i believe they steal cos they have to, for helping their living.

as i never mention before, i was a theft victim too. my mobile phone was stolen and secretly said there was one moment when theft broke into my home.. well.. no matter how angry i was or how scared and upset i was, i never fully blamed them. again, i know i sound so stupid and naive. of course i felt so angry about that, but i never have any intention to investigate it. instead i prefer to forget it and consider it was my bad luck. even i still thank to Buddha i am okay, i am not hurt and nobody was hurt for that crime.

this is just my opinion of how i see something bad happen. of course just in this case, theft. will be different for a killing or rape or terrorism....then again, i like to ask this scenario to someone closed to me just to know what are they indeed...

the first people i asked is someone closed to me before, the different story but same scenario about what would u do if someone stole from u.. the answer was definitely will punch the theft, dragged him to police. hm..pretty harsh reply i guess. i was a bit disagree with it, then again i knew the answer would be like that..
the second person i asked was about what would u do if someone got bashed and u were there. the answer was like" i don't know, nothing i guess.. i don't really care, maybe he just deserved.." still, i don't like the answer....and the third people i asked i gave them all the scenario i gave to first and second people, and he as like.."yes i would be so angry to the theft, i may be just chased him up, punch him a bit, but i would let him go after i make sure he was sorry. i would not call a police or saw everyone bashed him badly. i always believe there was a reason behind the crime..i would feel so bad after all.. and if i saw someone bash others, of course i would help esp when it was a minority." and i am so happy to hear his answer. i agree with him

what i can sum up for this, is, every one has their own perception. of course my opinion will be different with yours. perhaps, u will say i am too stupid or pretend to be nice, well i admit i am a bit stupid and coward. i always feel coward when i see someone fight each other.or  i always feel insecure whenever i see a group of people in the city. the funny thing is, on the other hand, when ever i know someone pick on or hurt my family or friends, i never scared to fight back. no matter i love peaceful, but once u hurt someone i care and love, u'll regret,, this is called "heroic".. funny but it's true.,. i can't stand or jut let it go if my friends got picked on..
i remember when i was in high school i always so emotionally protect my friend, not too heroic though... esp when the strong bullied the weak.. i'm not saying i am a good person when i was in school, sometimes i accidentally bully the others (and im not the popular gang, i consider i am in the middle)... lol

even when some bitch tried to hurt one of my family members, of course i came in and i pushed her away and was so so emotionally hate her. i never thought i would go so far either..at least i know now, i have a bit heroic heart, not being so cocky but i will never let someone to hurt my family and friends..

long stories, short question, what will u answer if i ask u the same question like above??

this is an interesting question, isn't it??well, try little time to think about it....and u will know what you are really are indeed...

L-O-V-E

what is love??

i never know what is love before...when i was younger...all i know for love is just.. love family, friends and love a boy...

love my family because i live with them,,,stay with them and have to love them..love is compulsary..

love my friends because we go to the same class, doing a same homework, hanging around and chatting around...

love a boy because he is cute, handsome, he treats me nice so i like him, my heart beats so fast if i see him..my friends hook us up, so i like him,,



when i was young adult...all i know for love is just

love my family because i need them financially (of course), i love to being at home when i am stress of my life,, i spend all my days with them, companying my mum everywhere so i love them..or even having dinner together everyday, and i love them,,

love my friends because we share a lot of sadness, happiness, and problems,,,hang out every week..sharing some gossip and sometimes may argue...

love a guy cos..think he's cute, kind and want to try something new...he seems understand me, and i like him..try to feel what is love feel like, though it never comes in a right way...

and when i am adult now...(is 25 counts as adult?guess so)

i know what is love like....


love my family even more that i am so grateful i am a part of my family...i love them for everything..they take care of me for 25 years and ask nothing in return..they always be there when i need them, always ready never blame me....trust me and take me whatever i am..and support me mentally (its really more important, since i finance myself), i love them however we don't live together anymore. they are far away but hearts always stick together. love my dad for being such a best dad, though we barely chat or hang out cos he's busy at work, indeed i know he loves me more than anything..love my mum for being a superior and incredible mum..she is everything for me, my mu, my friend and the one i love the most. no matter how we argue about the past, no one can replace her in my heart. love my sis cos she never change, innocent, kind hearted (even sometimes she's too tight and sweat lil' things....lol) and take care of me..love my bro cos he is such a weird bro (hahaa), cool (well, he wishes), and we just go along well though not that much time we spent...but i do love him,,(pls dont puke)..lol....well..i do love my family..and love my aunties, cousins and uncles too...they help me a lot  lot a lot....and i just realize without family and relatives i am nothing...


love my friends even more that they are truly a good friend...distance is not a matter. they are always there, we share any than lil' things but future...its about how we have a life and we still catch up and care for each other...love them cos i know they are happy and success.. thanking them cos i am irreplacable in their heart.
love them even though we are far away, barely chat and hang out. but whenever we catch up, it feels so right and good....feel so comfy, an old fella's for an ages....


and talking of love a guy...its not just a guy, its not just what he looks like or what i can get from him, but its about him,,,about mr. right....my mr right , my soulmate, my lover, my husband, my boyfriend, a friend and a partner for life...love is more than just for me...its about loving him...sharing..and togetherness..not about what i don't like about him or i like about him, its more to accept whatever he is..all his weakness and his strengthness. love is more to solve the problems that we have instead of balimg whose fault it is..care and always be there...love is about how to understand what he feels without asking so many questions...support him and sacrifise ego just for him..
and love him even more cos he knows who truely i am...he loves me exactly like i love him..we share moments, we share stories, pain, happiness and share our soul..its not about fancy gifts, fancy dinners but its about togetherness.. we rather be at home cooking together, spending most of our time for shopping groceries and even just lying down and watch movies..its about us, who we spend the time with. and when i know it is him makes me love him even more...love is more than that..it is how we live together with all the differences, how u make it works and how u solve it.. its about make him happier cos i will be happier when he is happy. love is asking nothing for return...its sincere and its universal..its about how we behave and make people surround us happy..

but love for me is even more greater cos it is you...you are my love....

i never know what is love before til i met u......u are my everything and love is you...

i am an oxen, what about u??

do u  ever believe that your chinese horoscope will affect your personality??

well..i think i do.....i was born under the ox year....they say ox people is a hardworking, loyal and devoted....

i cant say i am a hundred person that ox....

but then again, i was reminded by one of my friend....it was when i was working in the cafe and i had to leave 30 minutes earlier than my shift since i get to work in the next of 45 minutes.
and he was like... yooo...why u work so hard?? u are a girl...u can't be working like that.....are u crazy or what? u work like 14 hours in one day??

i was thinking what he told me when i was in bus...i was thinking like..i've been doing 3 days in a week of a marathon job, starting 8 in the morning finish around 4.30 and work again in another place starting at 5 and finish around 10.30...what the hell i am doing in here???

do i really desperate for money, (think cos im an overseas student and need money)..??do i really beg for a money??
but hey,,,,i am not that poor, ain't i?
i've been working more than 50 hours in a week since last year plus i have classes, assignments, and exams in Uni, i have to do house work and cooking and stuff,  and wwwooooww...i think i am really "xiao"(nuts)..

i remember now, one of my best friend told me i was so crazy working like this, plus i am a girl...what if i was a guy, surely i will work double than i do now...even my mum sometimes always complain why i kept working like an ox???now i just remember my mum always call me when i am working...hahahaaa....

when my mum's friend came to sydney, she was so worried of me cos she saw how tired i was and she said my eyes' s dark circle is getting heavier...she asked me not to work that hard....

well all i can do is i think i am ox....ox works really hard..i enjoy it though...
i rather be working than doing nothing at home..its like my body get used to it and i really enjoy it when i'm working....(not that hundred percents enjoy it, sometimes i feel so sucks with the work routines)
and i've been working hard since i was 20 i guess,,,i was still in uni, while i did my part time job as a teacher..
well everyone says i have a lot of money huh, but the reality nope i dont save a lot cos i used that money a lot too..lol..not specifically shopping things, its more for traveling...

a lot of people that i know which is ox as well (esp. the female ox), they are as crazy as i do,,, even sometimes i think its more like a "less luck" horoscope compare with "pig" who seems so lucky all the time to get what they want. while me, i need a long effort to get what i want...

back to people i know, a friend of mine in USA, she works really hard..and she is oxen too...she works in 2 places, as an overseas student as well...plus a bunch of my female high schools friends who was born as an ox, they seems to be a hardworking people...

i am addicted to the routines i guess, but when i was in a bad mood feeling, all i feel is just fucking off from work and be alone and enjoy my loneliness....lucky i didn't feel that much, as i always be okay to work...

for me, it's not all because money..it just the "ox" in me, its too strong...
i think those people are agree with me that we have a typical characters, we just want to finish our job no matter how long it will take...


no matter how hard it is, i enjoy it...

and i can say i am proud to be ox...

i will always be an ox...so..what do u think about ox???

inception,,,

i believe u guys watched "inception" before. Such a cool movie, though its a bit hard to understand how it goes and how the inception works..

well,, i had it last night.i dreamt that i had another dream inside,,,..and it felt so real.....
well i must admit, my dream was a bad dream, it told about how i can not reach someone that i love. for some reason, in that dream, i woke up and i tried to call him but i couldn't... the phone went off and even i changed my mobiles with another, it just cant connect to his phone...it's a bit scary cos i felt i was left alone...then in that dream i woke up...and my mum sat next beside me saying it was a dream,,,well then i felt relieve, then i tried to call him, eeeeeh.....for some reason he picked then he hang up...and then i called again, then it was off...i felt so upset and sad,,,tried the speed dial, find his name on my list phone, still couldn't... then i can feel he left me..forever....waaaah, that feeling was unexplainable....i tried to open my eyes (i force it), and i hope it was a dream too..but just i was trapped in the dream..and can not wake up...it took me deeper and deeper and somehow felt soo sooo sooo real...i know sounds so corny, but i cried...(well, if u guys ever felt like being left by people whom u love, u may be know what it feels like)..


eventually, i woke up and i screamed, i knew i forced to wake up so it felt so miserable....

now i know what is inception like,,,it's not as cool as the movie laaah....><

the reality of course was not end up like my dream..

the one that i love is still there....i sounds a bit corny but i think that because the korean movie i watched last night, where the guy left his girlfriend without saying goodbye..hahaaa.....

well...mine is not cool, but at least i know what it was like..how about yours..hope yours was as cool as in the movie....

a day to memorize

it's my first blog I've written ever....i just write some notes before...and it was just in Facebook...
i was inspired by one of my friends who write a blog...i really like her blog...well i think we all deserve to have a space for sharing....

and here we go...i try to write...

its been a hectic months for me...not mentally but more to physically...i can say i am a very happy person...
i have the best family ever...i have the best soul-mate ever (though i'm wondering what is he doing now, since i've waited his reply for more than 1 hours, lol )...i have bunch of great friends either in ozy or indo... i have a good job and i am pretty settled down now...finished my uni as my parents wish...i submitted my application...
and i'm preparing my "W" day...

like i said...though im pretty busy, still sometimes i feel so sorry to everyone i love, i barely contact them recently,,,,
i do sometimes feel sorry to my sis, we haven't talked much since last June... i was not there when she need me...well, i just want her to know that i will always her sister and will always support her, even sometimes i'm barely at home...

for some reason, i feel sorry to my parents too..they have to spend more times to prepare my "w" day in indo,,,and i am so thanking them for that..i don't know what will happen to me if i don't have them...

its been more than a month i can have a day off just being lazy at home and sitting in front of my computer, (well not that lazy, at least i cleaned my home today, cooking and do laundry,lol)....
and i've been sitting for 4 hours non stop here...feel so awkward...thinking what to cook later...wait for his message and waiting a time to work...well, i enjoy it though...

not bad for my first blog...at least i can type anything i want here...lol...well...of course if i am about to write, i'll jump on my computer and start writing....hahahaaa....well, i guess, that's enough for first trial...will be there soon....see yaaaaa