Cen xi ing yen

People come and go..you might be one of people who ever come in to my life or you might be the one that had leave me, both phsycally and mentally.

My mum often tells us to spend most of the time that we have with the loved one, cause sooner or later we will no longer be together. One of us will eventually leave the world

Back then i used to argued with my siblings, or with my parents. It's stupid but when I was little, I just like to argue over silly things. Everytime i finished arguing i would be emotionally saying mean words such as asking them to leave me, or i want to move out from home, or simply like i hate this family. Sometimes i complaint to my mum how bad my siblings were or how annoying they were, i just want to leave them and was hoping i was the only child. Then she would say that our family are not forever lasted, one day i will choose my own path, she will leave the world ( u know what it means), we all will be separated one of another. when that day comes, you probably regret everything you ever thought about disliking your family.


I might be the one who left people in my life, physically i mean. I am far away from my home, my friends, and my relatives. Not that i want to, it was happened to be...

I was 13 when for the first time in my life i have to leave home to penang for study. That was during a riot 1998. My parents decided to send me n my sis away from home. I was 13 and i was too young to be alone. I cried and i cried i left my family, my grandma and my friends. I dont understand why i have to face such a new life out there without knowing anything. I wasnt ready, even i still have my sis. I cried when i was just arriving penang, also when i had to go back home to indo after 6months. Crazy, i know, i shud be happy when i was going home, however i was not. I was settling down for months tried so hard to enjoy my life in penang, just having bunch of new good friends and then my mum forced me to home. Again, i cried i didnt want to leave penang.

When i grow older, its a high school time where we all graduated and everyone had chosen their own path. I was sad on graduation day not mentioning education but friends, my friends since i was very little ( i went to the same school for 14 years)... I was happy the fact we all grown up, we graduated but i screamed indeed that i didnt want any change in my life. I still want to have the same activity, i want my friends who know me well, i want to see them 5days a week, i dont want to have new friend, new class, new uni and new environment. I was crying again inside..

Then my uni life was okay i mean it was not as scary as i thought it would be. Still, i always miss those high school moments and friend. It was different in uni and school. In high school u guys will see each other every day, every month til years. In uni, every classes have different people, and that means new friends and new friends. I am not saying i dont like to socialize and having new friend, cos i do, i have new friends then becoming my close friends. It just me, i just dont like any change happened.

When i started to work for the first time (i was 19), i really want to go back to my school life. Working life is sucks, its real and its hard. It is still hard whenever i have a new job with new people, new place, i am always worried and scared, again i dont like any change...

I was 23 when i came here to study, again, i left my parents, my brother, my friends, my relatives and my students and workmates... I dont know if my teacher friend notice of that time or not, but i dropped tears when i was watching my kids dancing...i soon realized shit i am gonna leave all of them..all of them... Leaving everything i have here and starting new life there.,, with zero...

as soon as i was ready to go to airport, my tears just wouldnt stop running..I cried like a baby, again, the fact that tomorrow would never be the same. There wont be me having a breakfast together in dining room, there wont be me coming to workplace, there wont be me catching up every weekend with my best friends. And there wont be any more life story in jakarta. Sounds scary? It was for me that time, and of course not anymore now,,

It has been almost 4 years i am here, my life has changed since then, i am married to my soulmate, i have a good life, i am mentally and physically happy. Life is great. I have grown up. I passed those childish life and leaving period and i learnt a lot.

I came here, i have new friends, and old friends remain the same. I might be different and far away in distance, yet my heart, my memory is still the same me..

My brother one day put his status mentioning that he wish that i were still there at home. I was worried then i asked an explanation..it was not a big things but its important to us, as a family. What i try to say is, for him to say something about me is huge. I remember he used to spend his time with his friends, sometimes i think he loves them more than us. He said his life has changed since we left home.
As i told u before wht my mum always said that magic words is true. When we are together, often time we dont appriciate what we have, and when people is gone we regret and its too late. When we were still at home we argued a lot, jealous with each other, and he sometimes tried to embarrased me..but look now, we even understand each other even more, we discuss things, and try to support each other as a family. That proves a theory, we often times dont realize how much that people means to us, til they left us or they are away.

I totally understand now, mum is right... I will never have childhood life anymore, i will never have a chance being her lil daughter, its all past. We should make the most of it, spend your quality time with your family and person you loved. One time u see them, another time they leave..it is all natural.. People come and go,,,,


My grandmas might had leave me but her position is irreplaceable in my life. I may be away from home but my heart is still with them... My friends are come and go in my life, but i remain the same, i value the old friends and welcome the new friend..Time is always moving, life is moving on....

i appriciate even more every single day as much as i can. I spend happy time with most people i see, live, and worked with... I try to do the best and never look back. I might leave u, but i never forget you...I might be not a best person whoever cross your mind, but believe it or not i tried to make the most of the time we had.. Family, husband, friends and relatives....

For those people who still could have time together with the family, be grateful and be happy, enjoy it and whatever happens to u and ur loved one, cen xi ing yen...no matter what, life is goin on, u will always miss them..

People come and go,,,so do you,,,so do i,,,make the most of it people...