alone,,

There's always be a moment when u feel empty and seems like u loose ur energy, u don't feel like doing anything, everything surrounds u doesnt interest u at all, u start to think the worst scenario, and u let ur feeling control ur day...


i call it Moody and Lonely

and I hate it,,,,

as a girl, i am very sensitive person. u can tell by my zodiac, i'm cancer. a very moody person, and complicated...

i can say there will be 2-5 days in a month (exactly on PMS time) i turn out to be such a cry baby, crying without any reason, need extra attention from my husband and let my mood control my day... do i like it? Nope, in fact i hate it...

I always wonder is there anyone who get exactly the same symptomps like i have? instead of being grumpy, i am moody and more like pathetic,,,


when i get moody, i feel lonely... i still remember back then when i was teenager, i rather spent whole days locked myself in my room, doin nothing,,, I didnt talk, i didnt show my feelin to everyone at home and all i did just being lazy around, jazz songs and, drowning myself to tears..

I don't know why it happens so bad to me,,,
the fact is i am very positive person. most of the time.

but when i feel lonely, i like to put all the blames on my shoulder, and i start to cry like a baby, wishing someone comes and helps me, no one ever did though, not until now (my husband is the only one who get me)....

I always think, no one ever understand me, my habit, my "sickness" and even myself....


let me think about short description about lonely in my version,,,

lonely is a situation where u are not longer in a same condition u've had before, it slightly change and it moves ur feeling from "many" to "any",

and or when u feel u stand alone with or without people existing surround u...

a friend of mine, we have been working together for almost a year, one day i saw him and i could feel his emptiness at work, then i asked him, are u ok? he said he was ok, he was fine, but he just feel something different. I said, is it emptiness? then he said it was more like lonely.

I found lonely is deeper than emptiness. and i surely know why he said that. our workplace has been no longer fun like it used to. I know people always come and go, this time everyone seems letting go...

he felt everyone is leavin and even himself, therefore it affects everyone who cares of this small team. well i do too, i feel its not as fun as we used to be, no, Its Not fun anymore. most of my work mate loose their spirit to work, due to the managers problems and so on. They work like a corpse, sometimes they complaint (they barely complaint before) and It all affects me, I FEEL SO MUCH LONELY when i am not working with them.

this is the first description of my loneliness

i always remind myself after, no matter how low i feel or how moody i am, The fact is I am not alone. It is true... and when u feel u are alone, u are not indeed..... we have people whom love us sincerely.
I have my husband who always support me, no matter how busy he is, how tired he is after work, or how moody i am, i always know he is my loneliness' cure. Sometimes i dont want to let him know how sad i am, but i realized i was wrong, by letting him know, i feel better, cos i need his attention to pull me out from my "ownworld".. he knows that all i need is someone to simply sit beside me, hug me, and he doesnt have to say anything, because he is the only one i need...

or eventhough u are out of the town, u are overseas and u miss ur family and ur hometown, yes it is, we feel really alone...physiccaly, we are apart, but blood and love bond us with our parents. I always call my mum when i feel home sick or moody, i just need to heard her voice and i will feel better.... u dont have to let ur mum or ur dad knows how sad u are or how alone u are, cos they know it, they can feel it... thats the power of Mum and dad. Maybe some of us do not know about it, But do u know ur parents miss u more than we miss them, since we are part of their blood and soul.....

and also, nobody can replace ur best friend place,,, trust me, u feel much better knowing they care about u,,, They maybe not as close as our lover or parents or family, However, they save our life lots of time.
when u feel alone overseas, friends are forever, they fill ur life, they make the day brighter, and they help u for no reason...


Lonely and Moody are my friend,, they come often in my days, Nevertheless i have the real life here.. i always say to myself, its ok to let myself being weirdo for days, but i have to always remember, life is too way short for being a loner, cos we are not alone,,,