Happy new year 2015 people..
What is on your bucket list? More Adventure ? More travelling? Buy a house or car? Have a tattoo maybe? What ever it is, just do it man... Life is definitely too short..
I always make lists to do every year, i usually go with what i want to gain and pursue. Where i want to go for holiday this year. I want to be wiser and a better person and so on.
Every year pretty much the same, i start fresh, try to stick to my idea, be positive and try to be on diet. Unfortunately, they only last for a month, if lucky maybe couple months. I go back to my junk food, i delay some plans because i feel lazy, same excuse every single year.
Its not easy i guess to be a 'better me' than last year. But that is fine, i mean at least i have tried, right.
Looking at year 2015, i make a bit of changes.. Seriously with so many bad things happen in 2014, i just want to enjoy my life. I did not really have a long list, i just want one thing : make the most of being alive..
So here are they:
I want to be there for someone when they need me.
I'll listen to you when you need to spit your anger, sadness and worries out..
I will give you laugh, love, and support..
I will talk and give advise when you call me on my mobile, or when u message..
I will cherish our friendship, talk about silly things we did when we were young..
This applies to my husband, family, relatives, friends and even strangers ( nice one yeah not a weirdo one)
So people, lets make the most of you time in 2015 and enjoy it :)
Life is too short, we dont want to regret anything... Cheers
Happy new year.
Awei.
Friday, January 2, 2015
Sunday, November 30, 2014
A letter for a friend
O jeez, its been a year and half i haven't visited my own blog. Yep, my own blog.
I wanted to go to park initially, but its raining right now... So here i am in front of my tablet, trying to type something.
Just a quick update, i am back in Sydney... Hell yeah i am in Sydney. ( and tony too of course). Perth is great but not quite a home yet to us. We decided to settle back here after taking 3 months work contract in canberra.
we still live in the same place, same neighbourhood and lucky me, i even get my previous job back ..
Me and tony are still enjoying travel, we just got return from our 4 weeks states trip. We are looking forward to our next holiday on April.
So what brought me here today?
I just went back from lunch with my friend from uni. We have been friend since first year of uni, in 2008. We catch up sometime after graduated once or twice a year. Sometimes we just message each other to see how things are going. We probably are not a close friend but we get along very well. We share same interest, same thinking and most importantly we are simply honest to each other. You know sometime there is a kind of friendship for years or decade where during those time you are not totally honest to each other. It does happen to me. I am not saying we are faking our feeling. Not its not. Im talking about maybe there is one moment you just got lost during your conversation, or awkward moment or even you tend to lie a bit to your friend. Some of friend may go out with your other friend without telling you even-though you all are in a same group of friend.
I may not see her often or talk to her that much, but she is one kind of friend where i just can tell her anything without being embarrassed, simply just being myself. There is hardly an awkward gap between us, both of us just talk and talk. I believe you also have a kind of this friend.
She is a positive thinking person, probably she is the most positive person amongst my friend. 3 years ago she told me she has cancer. She went for surgery and chemo. I didn't have a chance to meet her after her chemo. Almost a year after she was recovering and we met up. she lost her weight and hairs, i was sad at that moment but then the feeling was gone, She did not show any signs of her sickness, she was cheerful, positive and happy. Then around 10 months after, her cancer was back, they found it during medical check up. She had to go through chemo and all of those surgery. We then met up again early this year. Again, i was surprised how positive she was, we were still laughing over silly stuff, planning for our holiday trip kinda thing ( she started travel often once she was diagnosed). She said she is getting better but doctor said could not guarantee if the cancer will no longer come back.
Today we had lunch together, she told me she has booked usa trip for mid dec so we just talked about states and recommending her places to go and to do. I was happy for her upcoming trip but it does not last long. She then told me just a week ago they found the lump again. My heart sinked. She said she wont do any chemo, its too painful and doesn't guarantee her cancer is gone. You should see how positive she is, she is so brave and strong. I cant even dare to think further. My mind went blank. I felt like crying inside but i know i cant do that. She is so positive and i know she doesn't want people feel sorry for her. And that is what i adore from her the most. She is the bravest and strongest person i've ever known (beside my mum). I haven't heard her in front of me complaining or blaming God, or say silly things about die etc, you know stuff that people usually do in the movie. Not her, She likes to joke around, she like the idea of more trips to do.
She inspired me more to live to the fullest every single minute i have. No regret
I just want to share this story with you. It reminds me again and again how good my life is. I have to be more grateful, think more positive, cherish every single moment i have with loved one, bring more happiness around and keep praying. No one knows what will happen tomorrow, cherish your life. Live healthy happy and positively.
I pray for a miracle happens and i pray that she can live happily as long as she could. My love and support is always with her.
I wanted to go to park initially, but its raining right now... So here i am in front of my tablet, trying to type something.
Just a quick update, i am back in Sydney... Hell yeah i am in Sydney. ( and tony too of course). Perth is great but not quite a home yet to us. We decided to settle back here after taking 3 months work contract in canberra.
we still live in the same place, same neighbourhood and lucky me, i even get my previous job back ..
Me and tony are still enjoying travel, we just got return from our 4 weeks states trip. We are looking forward to our next holiday on April.
So what brought me here today?
I just went back from lunch with my friend from uni. We have been friend since first year of uni, in 2008. We catch up sometime after graduated once or twice a year. Sometimes we just message each other to see how things are going. We probably are not a close friend but we get along very well. We share same interest, same thinking and most importantly we are simply honest to each other. You know sometime there is a kind of friendship for years or decade where during those time you are not totally honest to each other. It does happen to me. I am not saying we are faking our feeling. Not its not. Im talking about maybe there is one moment you just got lost during your conversation, or awkward moment or even you tend to lie a bit to your friend. Some of friend may go out with your other friend without telling you even-though you all are in a same group of friend.
I may not see her often or talk to her that much, but she is one kind of friend where i just can tell her anything without being embarrassed, simply just being myself. There is hardly an awkward gap between us, both of us just talk and talk. I believe you also have a kind of this friend.
She is a positive thinking person, probably she is the most positive person amongst my friend. 3 years ago she told me she has cancer. She went for surgery and chemo. I didn't have a chance to meet her after her chemo. Almost a year after she was recovering and we met up. she lost her weight and hairs, i was sad at that moment but then the feeling was gone, She did not show any signs of her sickness, she was cheerful, positive and happy. Then around 10 months after, her cancer was back, they found it during medical check up. She had to go through chemo and all of those surgery. We then met up again early this year. Again, i was surprised how positive she was, we were still laughing over silly stuff, planning for our holiday trip kinda thing ( she started travel often once she was diagnosed). She said she is getting better but doctor said could not guarantee if the cancer will no longer come back.
Today we had lunch together, she told me she has booked usa trip for mid dec so we just talked about states and recommending her places to go and to do. I was happy for her upcoming trip but it does not last long. She then told me just a week ago they found the lump again. My heart sinked. She said she wont do any chemo, its too painful and doesn't guarantee her cancer is gone. You should see how positive she is, she is so brave and strong. I cant even dare to think further. My mind went blank. I felt like crying inside but i know i cant do that. She is so positive and i know she doesn't want people feel sorry for her. And that is what i adore from her the most. She is the bravest and strongest person i've ever known (beside my mum). I haven't heard her in front of me complaining or blaming God, or say silly things about die etc, you know stuff that people usually do in the movie. Not her, She likes to joke around, she like the idea of more trips to do.
She inspired me more to live to the fullest every single minute i have. No regret
I just want to share this story with you. It reminds me again and again how good my life is. I have to be more grateful, think more positive, cherish every single moment i have with loved one, bring more happiness around and keep praying. No one knows what will happen tomorrow, cherish your life. Live healthy happy and positively.
I pray for a miracle happens and i pray that she can live happily as long as she could. My love and support is always with her.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Quick update
I promise to my friend that i will keep my life updated, i mean my new journey in perth. Some of you are aware that i have moved city and some do not know yet. Yes, i have been living in Perth now, exactly 2 weeks and 2 days. Tony and i decide to move to perth as he got a very good job offer there. I support him and i wouldn't mind having adventure so here we are..
I have to say leaving Sydney is one of biggest decision in my life. I have had most of everything in sydney for these 5 years. home, family, job, good friends, and entertainment. Oh importantly the suburb i live in is the best place to live in sydney ( i guess ).. I simply love my neighbourhood and i thought i would never find a perfect neighbourhood like One..
I came here as student, studied then get married, work and so on. A normal life cycle , but it has never been better.. Sydney has been part of my life.. I even never miss Jakarta that much (except for my family and friends ) but seriously i will always miss sydney..
Sydney has given me much, it taught me to be stronger, to be mature, to be reliable and to grow up quicker. Sydney has brought me to closer family members, closer friends and it brought me to tony...
I never think too much what it will be like to be in Perth, i was thinking it is still Australia so there should be not much difference. Well, It does and it does not.
As a city and its life.. Perth is a modern city with less number of people, people are friendly and polite... the city itself give you a very homely feeling... It is quiet in most of suburb, cleaner, park everywhere, u can find lots of nice estates..Public transport here are clean, pretty punctual for time schedule . However it operates frequently less especially on weekends. People usually drive, oh good thing you don't have to pay toll / highway fee. Traffic is less, only peak hours are bad .. Weather is a bit extreme. Say summer it reaches 40 in daytime then drop to 20 in night.
what i admire most about Perth is the place / suburbs i visited mostly are clean and organised. i am not quite sure is it maybe because i live in southern suburbs ? But its not, i went to some areas and its all nice and clean. Not like Sydney half of the suburbs are pretty scary and dangerous.
I am lucky enough i live in good neighbourhood in perth. I never feel like to go to city when i am here ( despite of work i need to go)... House are relatively cheaper than sydney too. O plus point u can find a nice big park in each estate / suburb.
I have to admit i was quite moody few times in early week, i bragged how i miss sydney and complaint this city is too quiet for me. But now i do enjoy the peacefulness and start to adore each part of perth. Tony enjoys living here since the first day.
The only thing i cant adapt yet is the hot weather, as i am more winter cold person.
I found the asian groceries here are relatively pricey than sydney. I assume sydney has more shops so the have to smash the price lower.
I heard from people saying find a job in perth is easier than other city. I am not quite sure too, but it might be true , i found more opportunity in hospitality field.
Right, i have started to work since this week. I chose to work in hospitality, if thing gets better and as per plan,
I'll do more management hospitality.
I started to enjoy my days, i suppose once i get back to work i feel more alive.. I also started to have new friends
(not much Indo's so far). My housemates are both taiwanese and they are very nice.
What else?
I guess i could only tell you this much...
I promise i will bring up more stories next time... ;)
You guys take care.....!!!!
I have to say leaving Sydney is one of biggest decision in my life. I have had most of everything in sydney for these 5 years. home, family, job, good friends, and entertainment. Oh importantly the suburb i live in is the best place to live in sydney ( i guess ).. I simply love my neighbourhood and i thought i would never find a perfect neighbourhood like One..
I came here as student, studied then get married, work and so on. A normal life cycle , but it has never been better.. Sydney has been part of my life.. I even never miss Jakarta that much (except for my family and friends ) but seriously i will always miss sydney..
Sydney has given me much, it taught me to be stronger, to be mature, to be reliable and to grow up quicker. Sydney has brought me to closer family members, closer friends and it brought me to tony...
I never think too much what it will be like to be in Perth, i was thinking it is still Australia so there should be not much difference. Well, It does and it does not.
As a city and its life.. Perth is a modern city with less number of people, people are friendly and polite... the city itself give you a very homely feeling... It is quiet in most of suburb, cleaner, park everywhere, u can find lots of nice estates..Public transport here are clean, pretty punctual for time schedule . However it operates frequently less especially on weekends. People usually drive, oh good thing you don't have to pay toll / highway fee. Traffic is less, only peak hours are bad .. Weather is a bit extreme. Say summer it reaches 40 in daytime then drop to 20 in night.
what i admire most about Perth is the place / suburbs i visited mostly are clean and organised. i am not quite sure is it maybe because i live in southern suburbs ? But its not, i went to some areas and its all nice and clean. Not like Sydney half of the suburbs are pretty scary and dangerous.
I am lucky enough i live in good neighbourhood in perth. I never feel like to go to city when i am here ( despite of work i need to go)... House are relatively cheaper than sydney too. O plus point u can find a nice big park in each estate / suburb.
I have to admit i was quite moody few times in early week, i bragged how i miss sydney and complaint this city is too quiet for me. But now i do enjoy the peacefulness and start to adore each part of perth. Tony enjoys living here since the first day.
The only thing i cant adapt yet is the hot weather, as i am more winter cold person.
I found the asian groceries here are relatively pricey than sydney. I assume sydney has more shops so the have to smash the price lower.
I heard from people saying find a job in perth is easier than other city. I am not quite sure too, but it might be true , i found more opportunity in hospitality field.
Right, i have started to work since this week. I chose to work in hospitality, if thing gets better and as per plan,
I'll do more management hospitality.
I started to enjoy my days, i suppose once i get back to work i feel more alive.. I also started to have new friends
(not much Indo's so far). My housemates are both taiwanese and they are very nice.
What else?
I guess i could only tell you this much...
I promise i will bring up more stories next time... ;)
You guys take care.....!!!!
Friday, March 1, 2013
We are young
2012 has gone and i realise clock is ticking even faster... Its 2013 now, the third month of the year .. Hey im getting older...
I wasn't that aware couple months ago but when i looked at bathroom mirror one day, i know i am getting older..
I can see wrinkle next to my lip, darker circle below my eyes.. And the color of my skin is not as bright as i used to have..
I have to admit, i always think i am just over 20ish something. Reason is asian here does look younger than their age. People mostly think i am a uni student and i love the feeling they think so.. Sometimes i proud to say i am 28 hey when they guess i am 23 or 24. Well, thats why i like to dress casually shorts t shirt and sneakers..
In fact i never think how mature i am or how old i am now cos i enjoy my life too much... Its true.. And o please do feel that you are young..
Its kinda bad bcos of that, i tend to buy teenager stuff, lets say i bought baby g watch still ( o my god isn't it) , i bought a very cute backpack recently ( damn high school bag).. And so on so on..
Blame me but a part of me i am still kid.. (i love kids)
Back to clock is ticking quicker, i also realise that my parents are getting old... My parents recently were visiting us here, and my dad looks pale and tired.
Well everyone will be in that stage, no one is eternally young...
I look at my mum and i feel deeply sad.. She has been working hard for the whole decades.. She is still... Her hair is getting little, her wrinkles is obvious and her leg is getting weak..
I cant describe how do i feel but it made me respect her even more..
Good way, they are taking their life more relax now. They travel a lot for the past few years.. They know, time is ticking and that is what mum teach me.. Do what u want do what u like while u still can...
And i do mum.. I always remember what u say to me..
Im still young and i will cherish every moment i have, i will travel as much as i can.. Will Work hard save money and enjoy life...taking care of myself too.
Happy "young" day people ...!!
I wasn't that aware couple months ago but when i looked at bathroom mirror one day, i know i am getting older..
I can see wrinkle next to my lip, darker circle below my eyes.. And the color of my skin is not as bright as i used to have..
I have to admit, i always think i am just over 20ish something. Reason is asian here does look younger than their age. People mostly think i am a uni student and i love the feeling they think so.. Sometimes i proud to say i am 28 hey when they guess i am 23 or 24. Well, thats why i like to dress casually shorts t shirt and sneakers..
In fact i never think how mature i am or how old i am now cos i enjoy my life too much... Its true.. And o please do feel that you are young..
Its kinda bad bcos of that, i tend to buy teenager stuff, lets say i bought baby g watch still ( o my god isn't it) , i bought a very cute backpack recently ( damn high school bag).. And so on so on..
Blame me but a part of me i am still kid.. (i love kids)
Back to clock is ticking quicker, i also realise that my parents are getting old... My parents recently were visiting us here, and my dad looks pale and tired.
Well everyone will be in that stage, no one is eternally young...
I look at my mum and i feel deeply sad.. She has been working hard for the whole decades.. She is still... Her hair is getting little, her wrinkles is obvious and her leg is getting weak..
I cant describe how do i feel but it made me respect her even more..
Good way, they are taking their life more relax now. They travel a lot for the past few years.. They know, time is ticking and that is what mum teach me.. Do what u want do what u like while u still can...
And i do mum.. I always remember what u say to me..
Im still young and i will cherish every moment i have, i will travel as much as i can.. Will Work hard save money and enjoy life...taking care of myself too.
Happy "young" day people ...!!
Friday, August 10, 2012
Blogs
When i look at my blog, i realise how rare i write compare with other's.. How impressed i am when i found few blogs owned by my friends and theirs are really good one. Not only stories about their life but also whats been happening with world and surround.. I am indeed a big fan of theirs blog.
My belief is what you write reflects what you are. Oftentimes you think you know this people well but not until u read their blog. Funny when you may feel you know this person by reading their writing even tough you dont know who they are exactly. By writing you express more emotions, honesty, sadness, depression, anger, hatred, happiness, excitement than you ever could do verbally.
I personally like to write. I have been writing letters for my friends since i was little, i love to and still love to write a bday card or christmas card. I wrote few poems but not anymore as i found its a bit hard. I used to love write for tony. I just love writing. I know i dont write blog frequently. I wanted to and i had ideas in my mind about what to write but somehow when i was about to write it stucked and ended up not finishing the whole story. I had more drafts than blog posted, ad a result of my lazziness.
I admire people's writing especially person i know. I am not a big fan of books but when i am in a mood, i could spend my days sitting at library and read. I dont read at home as i find too much distraction. I tried read at park but i cant concentrate on what i read. I rather do small jog or walk and listening music at park.
Oo sory back to writing,
Recently i find friends' status at facebook a bit exaggerate. few friends seems to swear over their status. One or two times for me is fine, but hey why i kept seeing this person blames the world all the time. Uups now i remember i was also doing that few years ago.. And?? Gotcha friends think i was pathetic and i was not cool.
Yap, meaning for everything you write and upload in internet make you huge different. People dont want and dont care who you are they care what you just saying on the net. Worse thing happened you can loose your job, your friend and your loved one all because of your blogs.
I dont want to scare you but its true, we never think how far these blogs bring us to readers. If your blog is good people adore you, they visit your site to check on the newest story.
For myself, writing is the other way to show how and what i feel and think about something. I dont expect people to agree or read my blog however i will be glad if there's someone enjoy my writing.
I will try to put more ideas in my next blogs and hope you do enjoy it.
Until we meet again, take care...
My belief is what you write reflects what you are. Oftentimes you think you know this people well but not until u read their blog. Funny when you may feel you know this person by reading their writing even tough you dont know who they are exactly. By writing you express more emotions, honesty, sadness, depression, anger, hatred, happiness, excitement than you ever could do verbally.
I personally like to write. I have been writing letters for my friends since i was little, i love to and still love to write a bday card or christmas card. I wrote few poems but not anymore as i found its a bit hard. I used to love write for tony. I just love writing. I know i dont write blog frequently. I wanted to and i had ideas in my mind about what to write but somehow when i was about to write it stucked and ended up not finishing the whole story. I had more drafts than blog posted, ad a result of my lazziness.
I admire people's writing especially person i know. I am not a big fan of books but when i am in a mood, i could spend my days sitting at library and read. I dont read at home as i find too much distraction. I tried read at park but i cant concentrate on what i read. I rather do small jog or walk and listening music at park.
Oo sory back to writing,
Recently i find friends' status at facebook a bit exaggerate. few friends seems to swear over their status. One or two times for me is fine, but hey why i kept seeing this person blames the world all the time. Uups now i remember i was also doing that few years ago.. And?? Gotcha friends think i was pathetic and i was not cool.
Yap, meaning for everything you write and upload in internet make you huge different. People dont want and dont care who you are they care what you just saying on the net. Worse thing happened you can loose your job, your friend and your loved one all because of your blogs.
I dont want to scare you but its true, we never think how far these blogs bring us to readers. If your blog is good people adore you, they visit your site to check on the newest story.
For myself, writing is the other way to show how and what i feel and think about something. I dont expect people to agree or read my blog however i will be glad if there's someone enjoy my writing.
I will try to put more ideas in my next blogs and hope you do enjoy it.
Until we meet again, take care...
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Just before july ends,,,
I came up with an idea just 4 hours before august comes..
Yes it is officialy still july.. And i want to write something, well maybe more about self learning for what have been happening along this month...
I love july a lot as i was born on july and my anniv is on july.. I love july the most among the months...
After all these years, i always think everything turns good on this month. Well i guess my mood affect my days and days always going smooth on july...
But Not for this year... Not july 2012, when i am 27..
Before hand, im not saying i experience lots of bad luck or unfortunate lately.. This story isnt just about me. Its about what happened and it kicked my head... Remind me that life is changing quickly...
Its been 6 months i have been working in office, something that i never imagine before seeing me stay longer than a month. In fact, i do.. And i amaze.. How good i am surviving in completely new world ( fyi, i never work in office )...
Never thought i would spend almost 9 hours 5 days a week sitting in front of papers, computer, numbers and surrounded by wall. Waking up early morning, catching up same train everyday, be there 20 mins earlier, solving the same things over and over again.. Talk for maybe less than 30 minutes of time and spend the rest of working time be silent and concentrate of what to do,,, ( dont count my break time pls, i speak like duck on my break time).. Got blame sometimes or even try to adapt to this western working style..
And amazingly again, i survive.. Hell yeah i do it..
I honestly do not think i could do all of those without my friends existence.
I make few good friends here, one of them is my primary school friend. How unbelievable life could bring us two sitting together as a team while 14 years ago we have been completely living in different continent..
Everyone of them has different characters hence it brings us together, monday to friday morning to evening as a team...
I never care how much money i have to earn or what position in workplace i have to reach, call me idealist cos i am...as long as i have good team mate and those friends to support each other, nothing else i could ask more...
And i had it a month ago, just in early of july...
Things change in weeks... And here we are, 31 july 2012
I have lost 2 good friends in our team and that made huge difference.. Worst it happened so sudden on my birthday.. I cant believe life is obviously unpredictable.. One day we still chat around, the other day they just left...
I am glad i still have two good friends now, and i hope nothing will take them away from there...
One of them ( my primary school friend )just lost her mum.. And it is a very sad moment for her. She is a very nice and kind hearted person.. She is also a cancer ( mine also ).. We joke around that this month seems hard and unfortunate for those people born in july, which is a bit true. Things are not going well for us... How i wanted to cheer them up..
My point is,
Still the same old speech what i always repeat again and again.. Life is completely huge things... People come and go.. It is unpredictable. It always Change,, not only their life, it is also my life..
I am not saying i am perfectly enjoying my life every day.. Though i always be grateful for what i have, sometimes i fail to do so. I several times blame life or make huge mistake, stupidly sweat about small thing but i try to minimize it from days to a day only.
I love myself but i love people surround me even more... I am afraid of losing people i love... And i know i could not run from the fact that one day they will leave me, physically now or forever... And i could not miss any seconds for them. I just want to make the most of it with people i love.
When i was younger, i remember i wasnt that scared of death. I know its funny but its true. What i scared more is if my mum leaves me... I mean you know... I had a dream one night i saw my parents passed away and i woke up crying.. That is what i called pain.
Why pain? I dont know something with physical pain never make me hurt that much. Loosing, mean words, unloved, and arguing are the true pain for me.
I am a big girl, but with a very soft and weak heart.
I am lucky enough that people i love still alive. I cherish that. Though not everyday i speak with my mum, but when i call her or skype with her i try to make her happy, let her know i am okay. Dont you worry about me. And show her how much i care and love her.
Call me corny, but i say i love you everyday to my husband cos i mean it and i want him to know that i truly love him. I do not want myself be too late to say it. I want to live with no regret.
I might be not a type of friend who can see or meet you oftenly. But i make the most whenever i catch up with them. I try to bring happiness, support, love and care for them.. And i do.. That is the only thing i could give as a friend, nothing else...
I am sorry i talk too much.. I just want to remind people and myself that never stop loving your loved one... Life is short sometimes, never regret your life.
For you, who know me well. U know i truly care and i will always cherish our good " destiny" ( hao ying yen) ....
Be happy, be grateful....
Until we meet again... :)
Yes it is officialy still july.. And i want to write something, well maybe more about self learning for what have been happening along this month...
I love july a lot as i was born on july and my anniv is on july.. I love july the most among the months...
After all these years, i always think everything turns good on this month. Well i guess my mood affect my days and days always going smooth on july...
But Not for this year... Not july 2012, when i am 27..
Before hand, im not saying i experience lots of bad luck or unfortunate lately.. This story isnt just about me. Its about what happened and it kicked my head... Remind me that life is changing quickly...
Its been 6 months i have been working in office, something that i never imagine before seeing me stay longer than a month. In fact, i do.. And i amaze.. How good i am surviving in completely new world ( fyi, i never work in office )...
Never thought i would spend almost 9 hours 5 days a week sitting in front of papers, computer, numbers and surrounded by wall. Waking up early morning, catching up same train everyday, be there 20 mins earlier, solving the same things over and over again.. Talk for maybe less than 30 minutes of time and spend the rest of working time be silent and concentrate of what to do,,, ( dont count my break time pls, i speak like duck on my break time).. Got blame sometimes or even try to adapt to this western working style..
And amazingly again, i survive.. Hell yeah i do it..
I honestly do not think i could do all of those without my friends existence.
I make few good friends here, one of them is my primary school friend. How unbelievable life could bring us two sitting together as a team while 14 years ago we have been completely living in different continent..
Everyone of them has different characters hence it brings us together, monday to friday morning to evening as a team...
I never care how much money i have to earn or what position in workplace i have to reach, call me idealist cos i am...as long as i have good team mate and those friends to support each other, nothing else i could ask more...
And i had it a month ago, just in early of july...
Things change in weeks... And here we are, 31 july 2012
I have lost 2 good friends in our team and that made huge difference.. Worst it happened so sudden on my birthday.. I cant believe life is obviously unpredictable.. One day we still chat around, the other day they just left...
I am glad i still have two good friends now, and i hope nothing will take them away from there...
One of them ( my primary school friend )just lost her mum.. And it is a very sad moment for her. She is a very nice and kind hearted person.. She is also a cancer ( mine also ).. We joke around that this month seems hard and unfortunate for those people born in july, which is a bit true. Things are not going well for us... How i wanted to cheer them up..
My point is,
Still the same old speech what i always repeat again and again.. Life is completely huge things... People come and go.. It is unpredictable. It always Change,, not only their life, it is also my life..
I am not saying i am perfectly enjoying my life every day.. Though i always be grateful for what i have, sometimes i fail to do so. I several times blame life or make huge mistake, stupidly sweat about small thing but i try to minimize it from days to a day only.
I love myself but i love people surround me even more... I am afraid of losing people i love... And i know i could not run from the fact that one day they will leave me, physically now or forever... And i could not miss any seconds for them. I just want to make the most of it with people i love.
When i was younger, i remember i wasnt that scared of death. I know its funny but its true. What i scared more is if my mum leaves me... I mean you know... I had a dream one night i saw my parents passed away and i woke up crying.. That is what i called pain.
Why pain? I dont know something with physical pain never make me hurt that much. Loosing, mean words, unloved, and arguing are the true pain for me.
I am a big girl, but with a very soft and weak heart.
I am lucky enough that people i love still alive. I cherish that. Though not everyday i speak with my mum, but when i call her or skype with her i try to make her happy, let her know i am okay. Dont you worry about me. And show her how much i care and love her.
Call me corny, but i say i love you everyday to my husband cos i mean it and i want him to know that i truly love him. I do not want myself be too late to say it. I want to live with no regret.
I might be not a type of friend who can see or meet you oftenly. But i make the most whenever i catch up with them. I try to bring happiness, support, love and care for them.. And i do.. That is the only thing i could give as a friend, nothing else...
I am sorry i talk too much.. I just want to remind people and myself that never stop loving your loved one... Life is short sometimes, never regret your life.
For you, who know me well. U know i truly care and i will always cherish our good " destiny" ( hao ying yen) ....
Be happy, be grateful....
Until we meet again... :)
Monday, April 23, 2012
I love you jazz...
Jazz... I cant describe how much i love jazz.. It is unexplainable.. Its purely a love to a music, like you do to ur music.. I I just simply love jazz...
Im a very devoted person.. When i fall in love to one thing, i will love it for quite a long time. Its hard for me to love a thing though, once i do, i am entirely into it. Besides traveling, jazz is other interest that i love. I simply love it but it doesn't mean i have to be surrounded by it everyday. Im quite open with music. I also love r n b soul type of music, not much into rock or classic. Again, by saying i love jazz does not mean i have to listen to jazz every single day.. But when i am into jazz, i am all happy and it feels like endless happiness. I know u guys start to get confused, start questioning whats good about jazz..well dont worry, u are not the only one.. 8 out from 10 people i met and i know, always questioning the same thing. Including tony, he cant ever figure it out..
I start to love jazz when i was 15, from local radio station. Jazz is not big or popular in my country, nor australia. I dont know why it took me to the deepest part in my heart. Some people say jazz has no rhythm, unpredictable, up and down and boring or saddening..sounds frustrate.. Its not entirely wrong, i mean yes it sounds depressing sometimes, but depends on which jazz you are talking about. There are lots of genre of jazz, i am not the expert but i love pure classic jazz the most. It contains piano, slow saxophone and bass. Thats it. Adding a deep sexy low vocal, this music is extremely charming.. I dont like swing or bosanova jazz with lots of loud saxophone, i found it quiet annoying music. I enjoy slow jazz, with or without vocalist. Name one which quiet popular diana krall..
People may say your music reflects you, is it true? That means i am unpredictable, depressing and sad.. Well tht might be not true at all. My passion to my music comes from heart and not what i am.. I love jazz cos it brings me happiness, and boost. Things that happen if you love your hobby. My dream still, i want to have a romantic dinner with jazz music as background. I know it may be will not come true considering we are both vegie and not much ( even none) supporting restaurant like i wish for. Whenever i enter a cafe or place where they put jazz music in the background, life seems better. I remember the most when i was traveling in west europe, i was listening to jazz on the bus looking out the window, a beautiful view of europe and it was winter and cloudy. That feeling of happiness, that romantic feeling, that strong memory, remains and will always remain in my heart.
When i was both sad, stress and happy, jazz will be the one who keep me company, in their own way, they are exploring my whole mind and heart, ease my pain, ease my stress and bring back my confidence. Again, im pretty sure you will find my story boring and exaggerate.. I dont blame you, i consider my self lucky for having music in my life. Not like pop, kpop, rock or r n b.. Jazz is less popular, and not much fans i think. However i know jazz lover is damn loyal and forever stick to it. And when they talk about it, it is deep talk. Not saying its a sophisticated music, its more to soul music, where people dig deeper to this music, it keep transforming, its restless... Its jazz...
I think i better stop writing how much i love jazz...i dont want to make you guys bored, really..lol I believe you also have your own fave music..i respect all kind of music in this world.. Music is soul words come from heart and mind...
Music is the soul that can be heard by the universe.
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