im back

There is nothing i can say but sincerely thank you to lenz, as she gives me a motivation just after i read her blog about me.

I always think my name or even myself has been barely mentioned in someone life before (excluded tony of course,lol). I know people do notice me sometimes about how do i look or how well i am to be a proper role in one situation but to bring my name into their story, its like pheew...i feel amazing.

Knowing that my story could inspire someone or my attitude might bring some positive value to someone, what can i ask for more....

I was thinking a lot around couple months ago that for some reason my friends would start to forget about me. First thing, i live far away backhome.. second thing, i dont have blackberry therefore i am no longer existed in chatting kinda thing, plus recently my friends do not appear much in msn ... third thing, even my facebook has not much comments (with thousand friend list seems like nothing) and also i rarely update my status.. even worse, sometimes my messages got no reply, neither text message or facebook message. I dont get any contact as well with few best friends..

And that made me lil' upset...

I kept thinking what is wrong with people? do they forget me? or do i do something wrong??? why do they change? so on and so on and so on..

That was months ago...not now..

Cos i started to realize..heeeyyy...life is changing, life is moving forward and faster, so do we.. then i remember.. i am 26 now.. that means most of my friends are same age.. they are adult now, some of them get married already, some of them are pursuing their career, some are still studying higher degree, some are overseas, and some are still single but happy and enjoy their life...

My points are we are different now...our life is not the same like years ago when we were still young, when we didnt have much to worry about. Back then we only care of friends, society, hang out, existence, boyfriend or girlfriend.. we hang out a lot, contact a lot, did some fool things and that time friends are forever, friends are number one, friends are everything and only.....

But now look at me, look at us... we're growing into a better person and that need huge efforts, need time, need investment.. Friend is still important but the meaning of friendship grows differently.. and that what i realize and i learn...

i learn that seeing ur friend every single day doesnt mean they are ur best friend.. for example, u go to work everyday, meeting the same workmate, doent make u a very good friend. In fact, i find these days, catch up or contact with them once in a while bring me greater meaning.. in other words, i appreciate them more. a quality time we spend with them is more important now..
For your information, myself now only catch up with friend once in a while, since im married, i put my husband as priority, (I know it had been some extreme change cos i hang out a lot before)..
Consequently, I do try to understand the same situation as well.. i now keep thinking positive that people has their priority at the moment, why dont i just respect that and we can catch up when both of us have a free time... thats winning winning situation...

I learnt that no one can beat my old fella's... please dont assume it wrong...please dont think i am so old fashion person. I am very open minded person, i can always accept people no matter what they are. It just me and friendship itself. I learn that my old best friends are the best. They have been watching me since i was still selfish, kiddo, and childish to be a grown up me.. They will never judge me (sometimes the do, lol) and stab me. They will always be themself in front of me. and i always be the same ordinary awei in front of them. yes, we dont see each other everyday, but when we do, we make the most of it. we laugh, we share, we trust and we love each other. we bring back lots of story that no one has ever remembered.. and that what i love about old friend. a very good feeling..

as i meant above that we all have different priority now, i learn to respect what they are more. I learnt that the more we grow up, the more we respect each other. at least i find it right.. i dont sweat a small thing between friends anymore. yes sometimes i may be upset but try to think the other way around. I may not always give a present but i always do support them and always open my heart for them. Maybe they do not know that what i always expect from them, is just to be listened. I dont want fancy bday present, or treated like princess, all i want is their time and their heart. and i make sure i will give the same as well..

and last but not least..i just want to say this to all my friend who may or may not read this ...that i will be always the same old person u have known from the first time.. yes we maybe not see each other often, not contact oftenly but i do put u guys in the same spot i used to keep u guys, it wont change, will remain same and safely. I love u guys...and i wish u all the happinness, the best and i hope to see u guys very soon...^^ love u all...

Awei - Education Consultant

Awei Chen (Indonesian, Hokkian, Mandarin and English Speaker education agent)

SIECS (Sydney International Education and Consultant Services)
204/379-383 Pitt Street Sydney, NSW 2000
Education Consultancy, Immigration Consultancy, and Property Consultancy.


Tel : (612) 92647924
Mobile : 0433036268
Email : awei_loh@yahoo.com
Facebook : awei_loh@yahoo.com / awei iverson (by name)


First Consultancy is free..

about good,,,

doing good things are not always going that well.. somehow, it just happens to be even worse....

i always think about what have i done? have i done good enough to be a person... i can say i am not a cold blood person, i am easily touched and cried when i meet sad situations.. however, to pronounce myself as a kind people, i think its too exagegriate....

but one thing i always know is, doing good things are important..it is absolutely taught by all religion in a world... its also bring u somehow positive energy... and doing good things do not mean by being a monk, or a priest, nor asking us to save the world... i always believe that in all human being kind,whether or not we are perfect, we always have a small part to contribute good things...

doing small things which is good seems to be easy.. let me break briefly, as a student we can do simply being a good student, dont cheat or too much lazy, try to respect our teacher as much as we can (know sometimes its hard), help our classmate who need our help and so on and on...
as a child, the simplist things are by loving our family, respect our parents, dont let our parents worry about us, do or help some house work without they ask us to, or even give our parents a massage... that is such a basic thing that we should do...
as a friend, we can always positively support them, dont take too much advantage from our friend..and so on and so on...
as a workmate, we can always help each other to get the goal, we support each other, work as a team and respect every of them (esp, junior) as equal...

but what as a human, as a individual...

lots lots of things we can always do,, i know sometimes, we're just being lazy to step out from our comfort zone...

my mum always teach me some theory about goodness...

believe it or not,,,

by doing good things or even think of positive will give us positive aura, which is in a long term it build our character and our wisdom...

by doing good it can reduce our karma, not entirely clear our karma, but it prevents bad karma / bad things happen to us... which i always believe, somehow, we are blessed from something tht we dont want to...

by doing good actually is a medicine of stress and problems. doing good comes from good mind, positive thinking.. therefore, it somehow lessen your stress and you can control your feeling to be happy...

doing good is an universal language for all human being, we dont have to interact by language with some strangers.. just smile, respect and be polite, automatically we all are friend..

forgiveness is one kind of goodness,, do u know by forgiving other people, we actually forgive ourselves.. try it, i cant tell u how it works, it has to be practical then u will understand what it means...

and last, for people like me, doing good is for fulfilling my "ego".. its a bit weird but my theory is i feel happy when i see people surround me happy. then if i help people, people will be happy and i will be happier than ever...

despite of all, even we have positive attitude to do, things are not always going as well as we hope to...

i believe u guys ever had some sort of experience like, working so hard but got blamed, tried to be neutral among friends who argued, ended up they fight each other, or when u already sacrifise ur time, energy and job, things getting even worse... and so on so on...

well, again, i believe there is always another way for us to be better.. maybe yes, i was rejected for being good, it doesnt mean anytime anywhere i will be the same. perhaps, its just not in a right time to do good... a bit disappointed sometimes, yet it gives me more things to learn...

here i share some quotations which i like, i hope u enjoy,,,^^


"People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."
— Mother Teresa


"When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants, and murderers, and for a time they can seem invincible, but in the end they always fall. Think of it...always."
— Mohandas K. Gandhi

"A good head and good heart are always a formidable combination. But when you add to that a literate tongue or pen, then you have something very special."
— Nelson Mandela

"It's the action, not the fruit of the action, that's important. You have to do the right thing. It may not be in your power, may not be in your time, that there'll be any fruit. But that doesn't mean you stop doing the right thing. You may never know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing, there will be no result."
— Mohandas K. Gandhi

"You are protected, in short, by your ability to love"
— J.K. Rowling

"When someone has been mean to you, why would you want to be good to them?' 'You wouldn't want to. That's what makes it hard. You do it anyway. Being good is hard. Much harder than being bad..
— Jeanne DuPrau

"The most basic and somehow forgettable thing is this: Love is not pain. Love is goodness. And real love--it's less shiny than solid and simple."
— Deb Caletti

"I smiled back and I thought
how incredible that was, that they would find the time to smile. There was goodness in the world still, even if you couldn’t always see it."
— Jenny Valentine

"But goodness alone is never enough. A hard, cold wisdom is required for goodness to accomplish good. Goodness without wisdom always accomplishes evil."
— Robert A. Heinlein

"Treat other people's home as you want them to respect yours because what goes around comes around."
— Ana Monnar

alone,,

There's always be a moment when u feel empty and seems like u loose ur energy, u don't feel like doing anything, everything surrounds u doesnt interest u at all, u start to think the worst scenario, and u let ur feeling control ur day...


i call it Moody and Lonely

and I hate it,,,,

as a girl, i am very sensitive person. u can tell by my zodiac, i'm cancer. a very moody person, and complicated...

i can say there will be 2-5 days in a month (exactly on PMS time) i turn out to be such a cry baby, crying without any reason, need extra attention from my husband and let my mood control my day... do i like it? Nope, in fact i hate it...

I always wonder is there anyone who get exactly the same symptomps like i have? instead of being grumpy, i am moody and more like pathetic,,,


when i get moody, i feel lonely... i still remember back then when i was teenager, i rather spent whole days locked myself in my room, doin nothing,,, I didnt talk, i didnt show my feelin to everyone at home and all i did just being lazy around, jazz songs and, drowning myself to tears..

I don't know why it happens so bad to me,,,
the fact is i am very positive person. most of the time.

but when i feel lonely, i like to put all the blames on my shoulder, and i start to cry like a baby, wishing someone comes and helps me, no one ever did though, not until now (my husband is the only one who get me)....

I always think, no one ever understand me, my habit, my "sickness" and even myself....


let me think about short description about lonely in my version,,,

lonely is a situation where u are not longer in a same condition u've had before, it slightly change and it moves ur feeling from "many" to "any",

and or when u feel u stand alone with or without people existing surround u...

a friend of mine, we have been working together for almost a year, one day i saw him and i could feel his emptiness at work, then i asked him, are u ok? he said he was ok, he was fine, but he just feel something different. I said, is it emptiness? then he said it was more like lonely.

I found lonely is deeper than emptiness. and i surely know why he said that. our workplace has been no longer fun like it used to. I know people always come and go, this time everyone seems letting go...

he felt everyone is leavin and even himself, therefore it affects everyone who cares of this small team. well i do too, i feel its not as fun as we used to be, no, Its Not fun anymore. most of my work mate loose their spirit to work, due to the managers problems and so on. They work like a corpse, sometimes they complaint (they barely complaint before) and It all affects me, I FEEL SO MUCH LONELY when i am not working with them.

this is the first description of my loneliness

i always remind myself after, no matter how low i feel or how moody i am, The fact is I am not alone. It is true... and when u feel u are alone, u are not indeed..... we have people whom love us sincerely.
I have my husband who always support me, no matter how busy he is, how tired he is after work, or how moody i am, i always know he is my loneliness' cure. Sometimes i dont want to let him know how sad i am, but i realized i was wrong, by letting him know, i feel better, cos i need his attention to pull me out from my "ownworld".. he knows that all i need is someone to simply sit beside me, hug me, and he doesnt have to say anything, because he is the only one i need...

or eventhough u are out of the town, u are overseas and u miss ur family and ur hometown, yes it is, we feel really alone...physiccaly, we are apart, but blood and love bond us with our parents. I always call my mum when i feel home sick or moody, i just need to heard her voice and i will feel better.... u dont have to let ur mum or ur dad knows how sad u are or how alone u are, cos they know it, they can feel it... thats the power of Mum and dad. Maybe some of us do not know about it, But do u know ur parents miss u more than we miss them, since we are part of their blood and soul.....

and also, nobody can replace ur best friend place,,, trust me, u feel much better knowing they care about u,,, They maybe not as close as our lover or parents or family, However, they save our life lots of time.
when u feel alone overseas, friends are forever, they fill ur life, they make the day brighter, and they help u for no reason...


Lonely and Moody are my friend,, they come often in my days, Nevertheless i have the real life here.. i always say to myself, its ok to let myself being weirdo for days, but i have to always remember, life is too way short for being a loner, cos we are not alone,,,

I love my Job

Gimme some story about work, work, and work,,,,

i believe u will give me more than i want to know...

i am myself (i have to admit) a very workaholic person.. I rather to finish all the things which has to be done, even i have to stay back and unpaid... yeah thats me,,, and i am pretty sure one of u, is exactly same with me,,,

but what about workplace it self... ur boss? ur workmates? ur salary? ur job? and ur environment?? do u like it? do u like ur job? or u just have to work for money.

ok, before we think about all of that, im gonna share a bit of mine,,,
at the moment, i work in restaurant (yeah, still)... i work everything i can, not being greedy, but i have to, since i have been working for long period, therefore it forces me to do it...but I enjoy it. I like my job. i prefer to work with a good environment though my salary is not much, rather than getting more money, but the workplace is depressing.

I know in my culture, parents hope their children to get office job,or being professional such as doctor , architect, etc and say BIG NO to HOspitality and Tourism.. They think office job is cool and hospitality job is low level, which is partly true in my country. Most people think we dont have to get high education to do hospitality, and since they spent much on our education we better shut our fuck up and do what they want us to do. am i right? or am i being too harsh?? lol...uups, im sorry, i didnt mean too, but this is what i called common point of view of my country men,,,,

I have to say My Dad was one of them. He expected me and my siblings to work "properly". and when i finished my "MAster" degree, that burden is high even more. i know my Dad paid so much for my education, and all i still do just what? working in restaurant? i know my Dad must be so upset if i say i still want to work in restaurant..i surely know he expects me to do accounting, or at least an office job. so the question is : do i???

I almost do.. I found an office job,it was part time job, a small office job i must say, doing like customer service and admin job, and i was accepted.. I just need to move my ass and come to work on the day i should come on.... However, I Rejected, I was kinda like not coming on that day. i know it sounds so crazy and stupid...i dont know as well, I am very stupid and crazy.... The fact is, looking for office job is very hard in Sydney, cos we are overseas student, english is average and no experience. I am not saying i am good or i feel cocky cos i just refused a job, NO, its not that. It just because i am still looking for my dream job that i want to do,,,, a job relates to service, hospitality and also communication. eventually i found it.

That interview just happened a day before the day i supposed to come to work in office. I knew i got a job, and i shouldnt come for any interview, yet i did.. it was a woman voice called me for interview, and she sounds so honest and kind. i decided yes i would come, and i came...

This job is similar like i do at the moment, hospitality. A cafe or catering job i guess. The thing is, as i step on the building (the cafe is inside the big building), somehow i feel so good. and when i met her (the manager), she reminds me of my previous boss in Indo when i was teaching. the whole things about the job, the place and herself, for some reason, i just feel it right. I know i cant say or i cant decide whether the job is the right job for me or not, but i am very " feeling" person. I follow my feeling and at the end i take this job. I havent started yet, so i cant tell u what exactly will happen... But the job itself is interesting, its like i will be the one who in charge for function catering for every meeting, and if there is no function i help in the cafe. I work in service area, in cafe, i can use my communication skill and also my management skill ( my customer will be TOP person) and The good things are (NOTED FOR MY DAD), i dont have to sweep the floor, wash dishes, or clean the cafe... which is Good.. at least i feel one step higher than what i do at the moment. My Mum support what i have done, she knows what exactly make me happy. and that is very important..

I just know, I am very loyal person, i am willing to workhard as long as i like the job and i always follow my feeling. and i do it...any kind of job is not important, the thing is i am HAPPY and i LOVE my JOB... all job that i ha before, i always love it. i love when i was working in pre school the most. that was my first best job...

In spite of my story, do you know there are so many good and bad stories in workplace??

we can always see some people work really hard, some are lazy. some are so loyal and reliable, and some are just so dodgy. though i am pretty young, but i experience not little... i saw heaps of people tried to butter the boss up and down, or even talk bad bout their workmates behind and pretend to be nice in front of them... i saw people argue each other and being stubborn.. being so arrogant, feeling so seniority and act not proffesional at work. some people are bludging too much.. and some managers are shit... are these people exist in your work life??

Hey, i am not judging okay.. everyone has their own bad habit, me either... i am so clean freak and clumsy and i think my workmates think im crazy. i think it is okay since everyone had mistakes,,,, we dont have to be ashamed as long as we know and we try to be better,,,

then again, sometimes i just think, why people so bother to spot other's mistakes and weakness?? why??? dont they think we all do the same, i mean we all have weaknesses and mistakes...

Again, For your information, I am not Hypocrite... I sometimes talk gossip and talk bad about people, and i admit, sometimes i am stubborn, i dont like being complaint in public... see... i admit my weakness (which i believe whoever has been working with me, they will b agree), its not a big deal.. i did mistakes, but the thing is I STILL LOve my job. I love my workmates... even sometimes i talk gossip, for GOd sake it was not completely bad one... i am type of person who will not being straightforward at work, but i always be fair. I will tell that person and of course i think i still hv the right to gossip...lol..

sometimes it just funny when people try to kick down someone by telling to everyone their mistakes... i mean cmon, we all do mistake... dont sweat such a shit thing... if people kept doing it all the time, this whole work team work bullshit thing will never ever work out... cant people just shout the mouth for a second... or if u dont like them or u know they make mistakes, STRAIGHT AWAY tell them their problems,, easy??? yes it is if u can put it in a right sentence..

and also sometimes there are some people like to order their juniors to do this and that. I mean, yes sometimes it is good when u show your leadership by doing it as well.. am i right...
which do u prefer? your manager working hard, leading u by good example or the one who always give u an order while they just sit down doing nothing but bludging.....

i can say, proudly i guess, my husband is one of good leader example, he is a type of leader who works very hard, barely order people, and get respects from all of us. It is simple, we all can do, u, me, and everyone. just work hard, show ur potentials, and people will respect u by what u do, not what u say.... plus, its not easy to find a good boss...

there are so many problems at workplace, but i want to make a conclusion...
I dont know what is yours, but mine is,,
i always love my jobs (previous and recent job) because me and my workmates are getting really well. our manager are the best, we help each other, and the most important thing is we all love our job, and we happy, therefore we create a good environment. yes we still do mistake and tease each other, but that doesnt matter, as long as we always working hard, be humble, love what u do right now and working as a team... I think that is everyone's dream job...

so, do u find your job? the job that u want to do? have u done anything for your work??? lets keep fighting and LOve your job...

Simply "Fate"

I'm counting the days to my D day,,,, FYI, i am going back soon to my country and i am having a wedding reception, exactly 10 more days from today... so here am i,,, counting the days,,,

lots of my friends in Jakarta are questioning my wedding news..well, i hope in a good way,,, not much of them know exactly how my love story is... i cant blame them, when they were like " aaah,awei how come she get married so quick, or long time not hear from u and suddenly i got ur wedding news, and so on and so on"...

even my best friends backhome are wondering how could "an awei" end up so young to marriage life? well, i can't blame them for being sarcastic, assuming i was not so "ready to get married type of person"...

ok guys, i am not here trying to explain or expose my love life...
i am ok with such lots of question from them... the thing is they are my friends and i do believe they are happy for me as i do.. and it makes sense when they are thousand miles away from me.... i don't expect we always contact each other and know what's new about them..

however, i do want to tell a bit of my happiness news for them..and im proudly say i am getting married (in fact i am already legally)... and I'm very happy...

i believe most of my friends still remember the old me, a young girl who talk less about love, marriage and having a baby... that's true... i admit it... i've never pictured myself tying a knot before 28, not until i met my husband...

i reckon myself not a corny type .. i prefer to be cool talking about love.. i never believe any true love before, however i believe on "fate"....neither me or my husband would ever think about both of us meet, fall in love and now we promise to each other in the name of love..

Answering those questions above (how come i get married fast), i would say : i think this is what they called "love and fate".
and eventually people will ask how do u know he is ur mr right, or he is the one..? then my answers are: i know it's theory and non-sense but u can feel it one day when u meet "the one". for no reason u have a strong connection,and u feel u know him before u meet him,,, u just know the day when he asks u to marry him, u will say "yes", cos u can picture urself spending the rest of ur life with him... there will be no doubt, no regret and that's what i feel...

my husband and i met early of 2010. somehow we just know we are meant to be each other. everything seems so right and perfect. my life's never been better..i never thought i would met my soulmates in sydney, never.. but i did,, he is my bestfriend, my partner, my husband, my lovers and my life..

i know it sounds so bullshit or it just me... well, u can assume that,,,its ok how people think about it,, cos i believe everyone has different story how to find their love... but mine, pretty much more like fairytale...when the time and fate comes to us, here we are,, in a real world,,

most of indo's chinese or even chinese background, they decide to get married after having more than a year (even have to be more than 2 years).. sounds like it is a rule, if u don't follow the rule, society will wonder, is the girl pregnant? or aaah they will get divorce soon cos they get married in early age, and blah, blah... are u agree? i know u are agree, cos i did when i was in Indo...

yet, nothing wrong with the rule... since that is the only reason for people of getting married, knowing each other well, and so they get married. But then again, do u know so many couples get married cos they assume they have been in relationship for so long, so marriage is the only reason to be an excuse. marriage is a must. or even have u ever heard couples have been in 5-12 years relationship and they broke up, eventually they meet new partner and decice to get married in less than a year. well people, THAT's TRUE... that's what i called FATE....

of course i am not questioning those of couples who's been in relationship for ages and they are now married. hey, i am truely happy with it, i really do. cos i know they are meant to be since they just started the relationship. i can tell they are perfect for each other by witnessing their love....

what i'm trying to say are..we never know when and why we fall in love, when we will meet our MR. right or when we will get married. for me i always believe FATE... and time is not a problem.. how long u guys been together is not a serious matter. the thing is, how they love each other and trust each other...

i have some friends whose haven't met "the one" and i know deep in their heart, they are worried.. but i always believe they will one day.. its just the matter of time... and when the time has come, bam, they will never be separated....

or eventhough, they can't find theirs, what's wrong with being single.. as long as u happy...who cares,,,,?? one of my friend admitted she is lots happier being single rather than in relationship...

i think i sounds so grumpy and try to convince everyone with my opinion,, ups... im sorry about that... not i wanted too...

to sum up, i share a bit opinion here cos i just want my friends to be happy.. that, one day when the d day comes to them. they will proudly say "i am a happy and lucky bride or groom" like i do....

happy wedding to all my friends who already got one and will have one sooner.... i love u all,, and i believe u guys will be live happily ever after...

i want them to know that i am happy now, i finally found mine, and i do wish everyone will find theirs...

do u know what is ur dream?

i guess all of us have been questioning these question over and over again? what is my dream? what do i want to do? what do i like? what will my future be?? what should i do at the moment? and what the fuck am i doing here now??

well, bang...!!! everyone does it,,, me either,, and i'm in the crossroad thinking what will i do for next year....

I am a type of person who always plan and know what to do in this life.. cos i know life is beautiful and i dont want to waste my time too much for doing nothing... i pretty much always got what i want (with lots of effort and pray of course), and by the end of the year i like to make new year resolution, though sometimes i forgot what was it....

it's december now... less than a month to year 2011..
have u think about what will u do and what is ur plan for 2011???

what have u done in 2010?
are u happy with that?
have u done what u want in 2010?
have u made yourself and people surround u proud of u??

those question.. this question... aaarghh dont u think its annoying question...???? screw me...

but then again, hey.. there's nothing wrong with that... that makes u learn to be better person next year..

let me think of myself..... about 2010...

2010 is the best year for me (definitely i can say).. i graduated my master this year. I met my husband and get married.. i'd been on holiday for a month with my families and friends. i got new job and got new company experience.... and a lot of good things.. however, i lost couple of friends this year...>.<

that's mine and how about urs???pls carefully think about it..

whatever is mine or urs.. remember, that is part of our life and whether its good or bad.. life still goes on....

at the moment all that i can think are (excitedly and nervously), my wedding reception (which is in the next 15 days..) and my christmas plan.... u know as a bride u will feel nervous and worry of this and that... i do.. and so many things to think... yet i know it will flow smooth ( thanks to my husband for understanding me a lot... )

so what am i going to do on JANUARY??

here i am, i can't picture it enough... what job should i do??
FYI, i studied accounting (stupid master title) and communication. i've been doing different field of job since i was 20.. list are teacher, media relation, restaurant job, cafe job and office job..

teaching and kids were definitely my life,,,
working in media was halfly not in to me,,, (say no to working late and smokes everywhere,,,)
restaurant and cafe job are fun, (i like it, but hey.. i have 2 stupid titles on me)...
and office job,it was soo soo sooooo not me... (spending all ur time facing computers and files and papers..???!!!???!!??? get me out of here..)

so.. what should i do?
i want to do child care but i don't have certificate or any background...(FYI, every job has to be related to educational background)...
should i go for office job?? accounting job like my parents wish me to??? or maybe i should give it a try for years, who knows i can be good for that...(but i dont waaant)

then what? what do u want AWEI????????????????????

heaps of my friends have a better job than me, and some of them are succeed, their business is good or they get promotion..
well, it doesnt matter to me, cos indeed i envy even more to those friends who love their job and they feel good at... success is an extra...

i have a friend,, he is so popular and succeed, rich i think, and the thing is, this job is his life. he loves his job so much, he finds what he wants to do.. and i am so proud of him...
that's what i'm talking.. can i be like him.. i find what i want, and i will love it...

on the other hand, i have some friends who "has to do that job", cos their education background. yes, they are getting enough money, promotion, but they are not happy.

well..again.. my mum expects me to work in office, as an accountant, get so much money, and good reputation (in our culture, office job esp accounting is highly expected for elders).. does she ever think about my truly feelings? then again, i can't blame her, somehow she is always right, she forced me to learn chinese and english since i was young (i always hate it), and now i got so many easy things in returns... and i have to thank her..

what she tried to say is, u can't always follow what u want, sometimes u have to force urself, even u hate it, for ur good sake one day,,, she used her friend as her example, yes her friend admit it she didnt even like her job at the begining, eventually she is now getting higher and higher and she is used to it, so she is happy.

on the other hand, my friend was studying computer and accounting.. she knew it's not her life, she threw everything she had and studied from zero what she likes, and now she is so popular and succeed (through very long way), and the thing is SHE IS HAPPY....

having those versions, which one should i choose.... i am in the crossroads and i have limited times (i'm 26 next year, cmon im old)...

what is my dream,,,?? I still dont know...

All i know is i love kids, i love humanity service, i love to interact with people and i love travelling...
is there any job including all my criterias....

i haven't found it yet.. not now, maybe next year...

whatever my job will be.... one thing i should know... i have to be happy... and i live with that,,, i live from happiness, people's happiness.. when i see people happy, i am happy. my dream is simply just bring happiness to people..


so..have u found what is urs???? whatever it is,, u will be happy and good at it..... keep looking and keep working......

jiayouuuuuuuuu.. be happy!!!!!!!!!!